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The 1st time I lost you I thought I couldn't bare to breath. I thought I wouldn't survive the pain? As time passed I knew I would.Then the winds seem to change,and you are blown back in when you are least expected,and I am shown face to face how much I have missed you.How much the ache of losing you never quit goes away. How a familar smell can crush me. How the beginning of a song can be so painful it cripples me. I feel you ,even when I know it's impossible,but yet find out later I was some how right.
You have no right to this power. I know I have given it to you for so many years,I know I have that same power.I know I say over ,and over I am taking it back. I am a liar. I lie the same way you have.The same promises I made to you,but never kept. All the threats,All the I am never coming back this time. I will forget you. I will not let the memory of what once once haunt me any longer. I want you to go away,but am to selfish to let you go.
Then I dream of you. You are there,I can almost touch you. I could feel your breath. The heart ache begins to settle in again. The missing you, and wishing things could have turned out differently creeps into my soul and blinds me for days.
I know I can never touch you again,I know I will never feel you next to me. This is impossible. Choices were made,I believe most of them were your own,and now we can no longer turn back time.
So I will be here, while you are there.
I wonder does it feel the same? Do you feel as alone as I do at times?
I can't ask you,because I know you can't answer.
My heart will be forever broken,and always know the broken piece belongs with you
I love you, and will never stop missing you.
~always
(note this is Not about my mother)
  
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